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3 Questions to Ask Before You Plan Your Wedding

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You said, “YES!”, so now what? Having 20 years of experience in the wedding industry, I can say without hesitation that thoughtful planning is an essential element to a fabulous wedding. You probably feel bombarded with information though, whether it is advice from friends and family, and/or ideas from wedding magazines, Pinterest, etc., so where do you start?

Simple…start with the thoughtful part of the planning by establishing a foundation from which the rest of the planning can build upon. Once complete, you will find that the planning process flows naturally and is actually fun!

Establish your foundation by both of you answering the following series of questions:

1. What is our essence as a couple? Say what? Yes, your essence, which simply means the qualities of your relationship that determine your character as a couple. For example, are you adventurous, boisterous, conservative, givers, goofy, animal lovers, eccentric, outdoorsy, creative, scholarly, courageous, gamers, explorers, comedians, etc.?

Write down your answers individually. I am serious, it is time to go old school, so blow the dust off of your pen and paper and actually write down your answers and then compare them. After comparing your answers, settle upon the top five.

Great job! Now that you have identified your “couple essence”, it is time to figure out what is important to you as a couple. First, write down your individual answers to this question:

2. What about our wedding is most important to me? List the top ten, for example: location; time of year; lots of friends and family (including friends of parents), or just those closest to us; photography; ceremony; reception; food; dress; bridesmaids/groomsmen; decorations; cake; theme, including colors; lighting, music, and so on.


Next, review your list and consider question number three below, and then revise your list as needed:

3. What about our wedding will matter to us ten or twenty years from now?

Again, it is important that you write down all of your answers, not only as part of the thought organization process, but also to keep for use later on in life when times get tough or as a fun stroll down memory lane on your anniversary. Compare your answers and settle upon the top five responses.

Woohoo, you have now created a foundation upon which you can plan the most awesome wedding that represents your couple essence and is focused on what is most important to you!  Now share it with your friends and family to help everyone stay focused on these things as they help you plan, which will also thwart any wedding planning hijacking attempts. 

Your next step is to find and utilize an effective planning tool that will help you start booking, budgeting, etc.  I recommend the Weddings So Easy Planner Tools, which is a great way to keep organized, stay on budget and set up a manageable schedule.  Another great source of information is the Wedding Planning Tips on this site.  However, there are a lot of resources out there, so pick one that makes sense for you while keeping your foundation at the forefront of the planning process, and you will be able to carry the excitement of your engagement on through to your wedding.

Happy planning!

P.S. Keeping question number thee in mind on the actual wedding day is almost as effective in keeping you calm when things might not go as planned as a Valium or glass of wine.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this article.  I am always open to new topics, so please share your ideas and experiences!  Send them to us at:

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