1. Which moments are most valuable?: Jot down notes whenever a good memory comes up. You may or may not end up using it in the actual vows, but either way a list of your memorable moments as a couple is a fun thing to have! Sometimes, there are just so many good memories that you don’t know which one to choose. At times like this, you just have to think about which ones are cherished the most between the two of you and never fail to make you smile.
2. Don’t procrastinate: Take some time to think about what you want to say. Make drafts. Give yourself time to edit it multiple times. It’s also a good idea to have other people read it as well (not your partner though…duh.)
3. Be genuine: Don’t make general or cliche statements. No one came to hear about your perfect, fairy tale relationship. Be real. Talk about the hard times and the good times. Tell personal stories about your journey together that will make people laugh and cry with you. Acknowledge that you will need support from each other in the future. (No one ever said marriage was going to be easy!)
4. Make promises: I mean this is the main purpose of your vows right? But a common mistake that people make is making their promises using absolutes (ex: “Always” or “Never”). Don’t promise perfection! You guys are going to continue having hard times along with the good times. Only promise what you can.
5. Don’t be too cryptic: Clarity is key. Going along with what we said about making promises, make sure you are absolutely clear with what you are saying. You don’t have to be an artist with metaphors, comparing your partner to a summer’s day. Don’t leave anyone confused or in the dark…especially not your soon-to-be spouse.
6. Agree on a format and tone with your partner: This one is definitely a good thing to do in the planning stages of your vows. It’s always a good idea to discuss what tone you want to shoot for and if you want to write them separately or together. If you and your partner share the same expectations in your vows, then you will feel more unified when sharing them on your wedding day. Also, nothing is more awkward than one partner reading vows that leaves everyone in tears and the other follows up with the longest list of dad jokes you’ve ever heard.
7. Keep it short and sweet: When it comes to planning your wedding vows, less is always more. When practicing your vows, try to keep them to one to two minutes. We know that that might not feel like a lot of time to profess your love, however shorter vows can have a more powerful impact.
8. Get inspo from other vows but at the end of the day make it your own: Sometimes, our creative juices really just aren’t flowing no matter how hard we try. Don’t be afraid to look up some other vows online and find inspiration. However, be sure to not take someone else’s voice for YOUR vows. It’s OK to not be the most properly formatted or to be cheesy. There are no rules when it comes to writing your vows because in the end they are your’s.
9. Memorization is optional but practice is not: The idea of going up in front of a large group of people and professing your undying love is daunting. Some people are good at public speaking and have the ability to memorize and speak without fear. However, if that is not you, don’t try and be that person. Your words don’t mean any less if you read them from a paper. It’s also always good to practice ahead of time and make sure that what you’re saying is what you’re really trying to say. Try practicing aloud. A lot of the times you can properly hear the tone and check for grammatical mistakes when you say them aloud. Perhaps have a trusted friend listen to them and ask for advice.
10. Save the vows for the day, keep it a secret: You will be marrying your best friend very soon. Most of the time, you just want to tell your best friend EVERYTHING. DO NOT DO THAT. As much as you want to show them the heartfelt words you have written, consider this, these are the gifts that you will be giving to one another on your wedding day. As much as they would appreciate these words any day, it will make the moment more impactful and special if you have it be a surprise.
Leave a comment and tell us about your wedding vows.